Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and a few other phrases and words are among a small number of terms that foreigners simply in Korea learn and one of them is actually the phrase chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this well hello.com term in their sentences that are english doubt and employ it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This really is probably one of my minimum words that are favorite Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years ago, I happened to be taking Korean classes four days per week for four hours every day. I happened to be devouring the maximum amount of when I could for the language because I became dating a Korean man, almost all of my buddies had been Korean and undoubtedly I happened to be located in Korea and I also desired to make life just a little easier. Prior to taking the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the things I perceived as forced respect inside the guidelines associated with the language, components of the language that force us to show a respect that I might not need for some body. Simply because folks are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in enough circumstances to understand that many, frequently, guys simply assumed that i ought to be respectful of these and even though they disrespected me in various means. Through the classes, we discovered just how to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned simple tips to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest classes I learned, however, had been that I have very nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here on out “friend” in parenthesis would be the Korean as a type of friend while a freestanding buddy will function as English version.)

My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also made a decision to have a meet up at our home and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us round the table and I also ended up being the only foreigner in the spot. Only at that point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his friends for a great 4 or 5 years plus in my native tongue, we would phone them my buddies. Following the food had been completed plus the dishes picked up, I was thinking a casino game could be fun. Taking just what I’d learned from class on the best way to call somebody by name, we said, “So-yung-a, would you like to play a casino game?” utilising the lower as a type of the language. I experienced been gaining confidence with the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There is a gasp that is audible after a couple of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of this more aggressively conservative people in the group said i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is over the age of you might be.

Friend 2: You can’t say “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.

Me: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me personally: just What do you realy suggest? I’ve known her for a long time. She is had by me telephone number in my own phone. She is seen by me a great deal. We’re friends and my book says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a friend.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be friends because she actually is avove the age of you will be.

Me: we don’t determine what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: you can easily simply be friends with someone that’s the age that is same your self.

Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You may be all my buddies and you are clearly all avove the age of i will be.

Buddy 1: We aren’t your pals.

After that we went along to my room for just a little cry mostly because I became simply told I had no friends as well as due to the fact language these people were using to state their standpoint ended up being very aggressive and I also don’t handle aggressive situations well. Originating from a training standpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the student respond in a way that is positive. Usually, the learning pupil can be more timid to utilize the language or attempt to utilize terms later on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later on that We don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is exceptionally rude, We remind myself so it’s not their first language and I also make an effort to assist them to understand just why it may be taken the wrong method. My “friends” nevertheless, are not therefore patient with my language acquisition. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with the more tolerant people in our group arrived in to relax me personally and explain in nicer terms just what everyone had gotten so upset about.

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